


The Memory of Lemons

by OneHandedBooks



Category: Hannibal (TV)
Genre: Angst, Drunken Kisses Challenge, F/M, Love, Missing Scene, References to Illness, Season/Series 02
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-06-18
Updated: 2016-06-18
Packaged: 2018-07-15 20:05:50
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,239
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7236586
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/OneHandedBooks/pseuds/OneHandedBooks
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>
  <em>Jack put the open bottle under his nose and inhaled sharp herby citrus then poured them each a shot. He watched Bella take the little cordial glass with her dark delicate hand, the back marked now by the puncture of a dozen needles. They lifted the fragile glasses to each other with matching mischievous smiles and threw them back.</em>
</p>
            </blockquote>





	The Memory of Lemons

_"When you are gone_ , _he_ _will_ _feel your silence like a draft."  -Hannibal, Takaiwase_

 

“Jack! Where did you get that?”

Jack picked up the bottle of homemade limoncello off the nightstand and looked at the hand-drawn label as though he were just now seeing it. “Hannibal sourced it for me.”

“We haven’t had that since…”

“…Livorno, yeah.” Jack smiled. “Long time.”

Bella grinned and brushed her hands over her face to smooth the non-existent wrinkles. “A very long time.”

Jack put the open bottle under his nose and inhaled sharp herby citrus then poured them each a shot. He watched Bella take the little cordial glass with her dark delicate hand, the back marked now by the puncture of a dozen needles. They lifted the fragile glasses to each other with matching mischievous smiles and threw them back. Bella closed her eyes and sighed as the liquor burned down her throat and bloomed in her belly, sending relaxing tendrils of heat into her aching body.

Jack set his glass down on the bedside table and reached across it to cup Bella’s cool cheek in his broad palm. He ran his thumb across her lips, gathering up the faint lingering drops of glistening lemon liqueur. She leaned into his caress and gifted him with one of the aching smiles she’d started giving him lately. Loving pitying smiles standing like mile markers on the long road to goodbye. Jack felt his heart clench in his chest like a fist. He took his hand back and poured them each another shot.

Bella drank hers off with obvious enjoyment, tipping her head back and sinking into the pillows piled against the white plastic headboard behind her. Jack looked at the long column of her tender throat as she swallowed, then tossed his back as well.

“Does it taste the same as the one we drank by the pier?” Bella asked.

Jack looked down at his hands. “Can you…can you taste it at all?”

Another small kind smile. “Not really. The chemo, you know.”

“Yeah, I know.” ( _chemo that i begged you to take_ )

Jack poured another round anyway and they drank.

“Mostly it’s a sort of sweet fire now,” Bella mused, “But I remember how it was.” She tilted her head to the side as though she were listening for the memory of taste- syrupysweet summer lemons and something like dry herbs and cut grass. She remembered the clean fishy smell of the quay and how the bright sun made Jack’s dark eyes twinkle.

 “Hannibal says smell is the strongest sense tied to memory,” Jack offered as he re-filled their glasses. The last words caught harsh and choking in his throat. He was unaware that he was weeping again.

Bella nodded in distant sympathy. “He’s said that to me as well.”

She reached out and brushed the backs of her slim clever fingers over Jack’s cheek to wipe away his tears. “Why don’t you come sit by me,” she said, sliding over and patting the bed beside her.

Jack got up from the uncomfortable square chair and sat carefully on the high bed at Bella’s side. He handed her the cordial glass. There was a high sharp clatter as they clinked the glasses together.

Bella wanted to toast “ _l’chaim_ ,” but she didn’t think Jack would appreciate it. Dr. Lecter would, she thought. He seemed like a man who would appreciate some fine gallows humor. She smiled faintly, thinking she might mention it to him, at their next appointment.

Jack rolled the liqueur around in his mouth, trying to hold on to the sweet spiky lemon burn. If he could hold onto it, he thought hopelessly, then maybe he could hold onto Bella too, fix her in the physical world, keep her from slipping any further away.

“Another?” he asked, re-filling both glasses.

 “You don’t need to get me drunk to get me into bed, Jack,” Bella teased drily.

Jack drew his hand over his face and made a terrible sound somewhere between a chuckle and a sob. “You said that to me at our picnic too.”

“I remember.”

“You had on that white sundress.” ( _oh my girl_ ) “You know I love you in white,” he whispered.

“I know.” ( _you can bury me in white_ ) She raised her glass to him. “Last one.”

“Last one,” Jack murmured. ( _first last of many_ )

Bella took Jack’s empty glass and set it firmly down on the nightstand next to hers. A thin goldenrod haze clung to the inside of the glasses, flaring bright under the faintly buzzing overhead lights. She blinked dizzily as the room shivered around her. Oh, she was good and tipsy now. Perfect. It probably wasn’t a good idea to drink so much under the circumstances, but then, what was the worst that could happen? She stifled a laugh and sank back against the thick stack of pillows.

She turned her head and looked at her husband. Jack gazed adoringly back at her, eyes wide. His cheeks tear-streaked and flushed with drink. His sweet worn face was so dear and so open. She felt a terrible unwelcome wash of sympathy for him. He was going to have a hard row to hoe when she passed.

She sighed and leaned against his shoulder, absorbing the comforting strength of his big body. Relaxing as the alcohol spread through her and dulled the nagging pain in her chest. Like slipping into a swirling pool of warm water.

 “Will you kiss me, Jack?” she asked, turning her head to look up at him.

“Always,” he murmured.

He cradled her face gently in his big hands and kissed her. Softly, until he felt the tip of her tongue against his lips, then open and humid. Beneath the sweetness of the liquor, Bella could taste the faint ocean salt of tears. She pressed closer to him and Jack sucked her bottom lip into his mouth, chasing the thin syrup of the limoncello. He pressed a little flurry of softer sweeter kisses to her slightly parted lips, gently brushed her mouth with his. Then he pulled back and kissed the tip of her nose, the corner of her smile. She could feel his eyelashes wet against her cheek.

 “Good?” he whispered.

“Mmm,” Bella sighed, nodding.  

He leaned his forehead against hers. “I love you, Bella.”

“I know you do, Jack. I love you too.”

She curved her body into Jack’s. Turned her face to his chest and pressed a kiss over his heart. She unbuttoned the top two buttons of his wrinkled shirt so that she could slip her hand inside and rest it on his warm bare skin, feel the sturdy timeless beating of his heart. She let her eyes fall closed. These moments she would cherish. Quiet moments with him before the roaring storm of suffocation and pain that was her birthright came and blew their little straw house away.

Jack rested his head gently against Bella’s and breathed in the soft sleepy smell of her skin, letting it block out the persistent howl of sterile antiseptics. He held her close, his arm around her thin shoulder, brushing her hair back from her forehead and caressing the back of her neck until her breathing went deep and even. He kissed the top of her head and stroked his hand through her curls. He felt a crinkle in his palm and looked down. Her hair was in his hand.

**Author's Note:**

> This is my first prompt fill and my first writing challenge! Thanks for the inspiration!


End file.
